Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The new 21

So I'm about a month away from turning thirty and I have to be honest, this feeling of dread is beginning to nag. All my friends who've turned thirty already told me I'd go through this. They said the anticipation of it would be the worst, but once I crossed over to the other side, it's really not bad. In fact, it's quite a relief.

I'm trying not to get all dramatic/neurotic about it, but I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else. I feel like I've outgrown some things and at the same time refuse to outgrow others. I'm thankful and proud of the things I've accomplished, but somehow feel like I deserve more given the effort I've put into various aspects of my life. Even the celebration itself conjures up conflict. I want to go out, but I'm bored of getting drunk at bars. I need to do something different, but it seems like everyone has to get up early the next morning for some sort of reunion or a barbeque with the in-laws.

Last year I threw myself a big 29th birthday party. This year I'll be spending it without my close friends, and will instead be at a wedding upstate. I'm actually thankful I don't have to plan anything, don't have to make a big deal about anything, don't have to think about what this turning point means in my life.

To make my last 30 days in my twenties a bit more exciting and less dreadful, I've put together a list of things i want to do. Some of which I've done. I hope these don't sound too Lifetime-ish.

-Get a drastic haircut. I'd like to give a special thank you to Petitedov who pushed me and took me to the craziest hairdresser ever and gave me a fabulous haircut.

-Kiss someone new. Someone I'm attracted to. When I'm not drunk.

-Stay up late with friends as much as possible and pour our hearts out.



-Write a new song

-Help my family out as much as I can.

-Get a massage


-Ride my bike to the beach and look out into the ocean one last time before summer ends.