Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Mysteries of The Game

After fifteen years of dating I would like to say that I am through with playing games. When I meet someone I like I want to tell them how much I like them. And that I would like to spend my days and nights with them and not worry about what they will think of me in the morning. But I will never be able to do that.

I think the reason we wish we didn't have to play games is because people want to behave like animals. They want to forget that they have to think and analyze situations and instead just run up to that person like the dogs do in the doggie run and just start humping them.

But we aren't animals. We are humans that have very advanced thought processes, but we still we can't explain why we want certain things. Why do humans want a challenge and animals do not? Why does it repulse us when the opposite sex comes on too strong? It's these mysteries of human behavior that I feel like no one will ever be able to explain.


Monday, August 13, 2007

Never send a man to do a woman's job

Alright people. I need your advice. This is just too precious of a story not to share.

I was supposed to meet up with a friend on Sunday night. We talked that morning to cement our plans, but I had to cancel them since my brother was in town. I told him I was free during the day and asked if he wanted to go to the McCarren park pool to hear some music and drink some beer. He sounded depressed and moody and kind of gave me the runaround. I told him we could just meet for a quick coffee and that I would be happy to cheer him up and he sounded grateful and agreed to meet me.

I rode my bike to Brooklyn and called him once I got to Bedford Avenue. No answer. I texted him to tell him where I was and that was waiting for him at a coffee shop. I get a text back telling me that he has to show apartments (he's a real estate broker) and that he was really bummed about it. I truly felt sorry him. Here it was, a beautiful day in the park with free music, beer and lounge chairs, and he had to run around Manhattan in the heat answering questions about tax abatements and square footage. Serious bummer, man.

I ended up going to the concert by myself. I had a nice time by myself. I bought myself a drink, I read myself a book, and I watched Ted Leo rock out. I had to leave the concert a bit early to meet my brother so I left midset, put on my sunglasses and walked down Bedford Avenue where my bike was parked. And then I spot, across the street walking towards me, my friend with some other girl! I bolted in the opposite direction to make sure it was actually him, and noticed her put her hand on his cheek as they stopped to talk to the owner of a cafe. I suddenly felt like one of Charlie's Angels and imagined myself jumping out of the bodega with a perfectly aligned scissor kick.

I should add to this story, that this so-called friend expressed interest in me at some point and there was some romance between us but I told him I wasn't ready for something serious. I also should add that it was quite strange to see someone you hung out with numerous times, do the same things, i.e. walk around and say hi to people in the neighborhood, but not with you. It's not like I was jealous. As I said, I don't have romantic interests in this person. I was just annoyed that I was lied to and truly felt bad about the situation I presumed he was in.

The next day, I got an email from him with more apologies and more lies about how it was 'one of those days'. He was even quite specific, said he had to run around Manhattan showing aparmtents that cost $26,000 a month to a 60 year old gay guy and his 20 year old boy toy.

So my question is, what would you do? Would you confront him about the lies? Would you milk it, telling him that you felt so bad that he had to work all day on this beautiful Sunday? Would you get revenge? Or would you just forget about it?


Thursday, August 09, 2007

Hey jealousy

I met a friend for lunch the other day who works at Google. We met in his office in Chelsea so he showed me around a bit before we ate. Maybe I'm just really jealous that he gets to work at a place with gourmet (free) food, a game room, an exercise room, fun themed happy hours and a lateral hierarchy, but I thought the following were a bit unnecessary:

-Razor scooters available to all those who find it more efficent to ride, not walk down the hall.
-A 'spa' salad bar in addition to the regular salad bar.
-Not one but four 20 inch monitors for each engineer.
a regular 'decorate your cubicle contest. (I saw last contests winners who's cubicle was decorated like a harem.
-Not one but four cappuccino makers on the floor.

Seriously. Work should not be that fun.